Dubai, UAE- Internet traffic in the UAE is being affected after a submarine cable linking Mumbai and Penang was cut by gargantuan rampaging lobsters with wire cutters yesterday, taking out four of Etisalat's 19 links. E-Company marketing manager Farooq Hasan said broadband customers who use the net for gaming and peer-to-peer applications will be most affected, but failed to mention that I would be unable to check my email. An official complaint has been lodged. No indication was given as to when the problem would be rectified, and an international lobster-hunt to apprehend those responsible is currently underway. -AFP (Abezi Fraud Press)