AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

From the Homely Brother

I want you too much to take you
And cherish you too much to cheapen
So sister accept my distance
And watch my love slowly deepen

I am but one man among many
Who longingly thinks to savor
Your warmth, your eyes, your smile,
And wonder at its flavor

My place among them is common
Of merits, I cannot boast
But sister my devotion
To your honor is foremost

And I alone among them
Nearly burst with wrath
When he of lusting eyes
Stood and blocked your path

When he of thieving hands
Stole a caress from yours
When he stood damn close to you
As he would with common whores

As I stood in my rage
You stood in virgin shame
I’d come to your defense
If you’d only call my name

If only you would see me
As more than just a beard
If only you could think of me
As more than religiously weird

It’s for Islam, not spite it
That I will not meet your eye
And it’s not romantic cowardice
That keeps my smiles shy

It’s not because I fear you
That I will not call your name
And when I call you sister
I’m trying to be tame

It’s not that you’re inferior
It’s just that I’m so base
I haven’t the control
To gaze into your face

Without my heart missing beats
Without forgetting to be ‘brother’
Without wishing your love
Was for me, and no other

So until Allah, He blesses me
And you become my other half
I will always close my ears
To the melody of your laugh

I will always close my eyes
To the beauty of your face.
I will kindly ask my heart
To beat at normal pace.

I will walk a step before you
And cast no looks from behind
I will move my lips in zhikr
To keep yours off my mind.

For I want you too much to take you
And cherish you too much to cheapen
Sister, accept my distance.
Sister, watch my love deepen.

-Zeba Khan

(Dec 7,2002)



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