AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
Right Brain Left Brain Islam poetry
Mortal Wounds BebeFiles Husbandfiles

 
My sister, De Owl

My Husband, who never updates!

Mona, who I don't visit enough

Hemlock, who I don't hug enough

Baji, the orginal robot monkey pirate

Prometheus, who buts brains to blog about Autism

Socrates, a blogger with Asperger's

Jo, a funnier Autism mom with a great blog

Autism Watch-  for logic-based information

ASAT- Assosciation for Science in Autism Treatments

Quack Watch- for current news and info on all sort of medical treatments

Expat Women Blog Directory

My Cousin- really, he's my cousin.  Wish he would update more.

 
 
 
 

Saturday, January 28, 2006

The Husband Files: 1:32 am

Photobucket

HF: Could I shave my head?

Me: No.

HF: Come on, what would happen if I shaved it all off, my beard too, and started over.


Me: Then you'd look like how you did before, but with a period of baldness in the middle.

*pause*

HF: Could I grow a moustache?

ME: No.

HF: Come on, just a little big one.

Me: A what one?

HF: I'll just grow it on the left side, ok?

Me: No! You're nuts! You can't grow a mustache!

HF: Fine.


*pause*

HF: Can you grow a mustache?

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I kid you not

My pasta sauce smiled at me. Benevolently, even, hehe.

Friday, January 13, 2006

You know you go out too often when...



You and your husband, dressed for Eid-day meet & greet, stand in front of a door. It opens, and the house within is silent. You wonder where the hosts are, why the lights aren't on. You can't remember whose house you've arrived at. Oops, it's yours.

Foistly, AssalamuAlaikum & Eid Mubarak & e-hugs to all the sisters and e-nods to the brothas. Now, on with the nonsense.

Nonsense Numero Uno: The conversion rate in the UAE is two falafels to a donut hole. Allow me to explain. For one UAE dirham, you can buy either:

- Two Dunkin Donuts Munchkins (dh) (donut holes)
or
-Four falafel balls. (fl)

Therefore,

1 dh = 2 fl

Where only 1dh is equal to HW (happy wife), but HH (happy husband) is equal to 8fl, calculate conversion ratio from HW to HH.

DH=HW
HH=8fl
HW= ?HH

Nonsense Number Duo:

Dear Abez,

Welcome to your third trimester! You may have noticed that clothes you were counting on to wear for Eid are no longer viable options. True, they fit you last week, but this week they wear like sausage casings, and it isn't nice to visually horrify the guests so. Especially after they bring you baklava. Please consider augmenting your wardrobe, you can only live in your PJ's for so long.

Also note, due to rapid expansion and growth, it is recommended that the functions of digestion and respiration be rerouted to legs L and R, left and right respectively, in order to make more room. Things are tight enough in there as it is, and you can't complain about being kicked in the ribs if you just relocate your lungs.

We hope that in the future an understanding can be reached to assure the satisfaction of both parties.

Sincerely,
Your Baby

PS: Icecream?

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