AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
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My Husband, who never updates!

Mona, who I don't visit enough

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Baji, the orginal robot monkey pirate

Prometheus, who buts brains to blog about Autism

Socrates, a blogger with Asperger's

Jo, a funnier Autism mom with a great blog

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ASAT- Assosciation for Science in Autism Treatments

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My Cousin- really, he's my cousin.  Wish he would update more.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Mortal Wounds: Conflict and Resolution

Abez Presents: How to Mortally Wound Yourself with Lunch

Step1: Make Tuna Corn Chowder yesterday(recipe will follow at bottom of post)
Step2: Reheat bowl of Tuna Corn Chowder in microwave, set on one minute.
Step3: After one minute, take the chowder out to stir it, so that it heats evenly.
Step4: Put spoon into chowder
Step5: Be attacked by superheated flying potato from chowder.
Step6: Catch superheated flying potato- in the eye.

Yes, I burned my eye with a potato. This may be a world's first, and remember, you read it here. Alhamdulillah, I managed to wince in time, and my eyelid caught most of the damage. It hurts though, subhanAllah, and the area around my right eye is quite red.

Facing the pain of betrayal from my own lunch, I decided to take solace in dessert, hence, the second recipe of this post- Conciliatory Icecream Cone.

Mix One scoop Vanilla Icecream with 1 tbs pancake syrup
Add 1 tsp peanutbutter (it rolled away!)
Plop onto an icecream cone.
Nurse your burned eye and enjoy.

Recipe2: Treacherous Tuna Corn Chowder

In roughly two cups water, add:
Can of Mushrooms
Frozen, mixed veggies (greenbeans, peas, carrots, corn)
1 diced potato

And boil until the potatoes are soft and seem broken of their will to retaliate with flying attacks.
Add 3 cups milk, 2 cans of tuna, black pepper, salt, and 4 cloves of garlic that have been finely minced. Or grated. Or mashed into paste. Just destroy them, ok?

Mix 1/3 cup white flour into abt 1/2 cup cold water on the side, add to soup BEFORE it boils. (if you boil milk that has no thickening agent in it, it will split) Allow soup to thicken, add salt and more pepper if you wish.

Allow soup to cool. Reheat a single bowl. Microwave on medium heat. Beware of flying potatoes.



At 16/12/06 4:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I was in a library when I read this (I WAS working... the rest of the time). And I was about to burst out laughing, but I just about held it in - to start quaking in my seat instead.

You seem to get a lot more excitement out of cooking chowder (I'm on my way to look that word up now - is it another Americanism?) than is due. Or good for you.

OMG it actually is an Americanism. How good am I?

At 16/12/06 5:53 AM, Anonymous hemlock said...

i heard. and im impressed.
nothing this exciting ever happens to me. bah!

At 20/12/06 3:24 AM, Anonymous yasmine said...

Dude! I know how to make [clam] chowder now! TANKS! (You KNOW i'm a fan of anything with potatoes in it, right? =))

Also, I don't understand your ice cream business, buddy. You poured the pancake syrup (PANCAKE SYRUP?!) over your ice cream? Or you actually mixed both together so your ice cream was all mushy? And why is there peanut butter in there?

At 21/12/06 2:09 AM, Anonymous farrukh: copywriter & journalist said...

Get well soon - and stay away from potatoes, Abez.

At 21/12/06 5:14 PM, Anonymous knicq said...

Little Baji,

Hope you get well soon...aside from that, have I told you this before... YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

At 22/12/06 4:11 PM, Blogger Abez said...

Yasmine: yes, you mush it all up together. Try it, you just have to try it. Trust me!

Farrukh: Lol, thank you. :)

Knicq Bhai: Same to you buddy. :)

At 23/12/06 5:32 AM, Blogger baj said...

i just read the post above and between carrots and potatoes, i'd have to say veggies have it out for you guys! be careful around them!

At 24/12/06 8:13 AM, Anonymous Mona said...

haha. seriously haha. omg, nothing that crazy has ever happened to me except that time when i got shampoo up my nose. but never mind.

At 25/12/06 4:37 PM, Blogger Abez said...

Haha!!!! Lol, Mona, how did you manage that??


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