AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
Right Brain Left Brain Islam poetry
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My sister, De Owl

My Husband, who never updates!

Mona, who I don't visit enough

Hemlock, who I don't hug enough

Baji, the orginal robot monkey pirate

Prometheus, who buts brains to blog about Autism

Socrates, a blogger with Asperger's

Jo, a funnier Autism mom with a great blog

Autism Watch-  for logic-based information

ASAT- Assosciation for Science in Autism Treatments

Quack Watch- for current news and info on all sort of medical treatments

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My Cousin- really, he's my cousin.  Wish he would update more.


Monday, December 10, 2007

A long overdue blog: Intoducing the Mystery Bean!

Come this March InshaAllah, Khalid will be turning two years old. Scheduled to arrive on the exact date of his birth is what will either be:

The best birthday present ever


The worst birthday present ever

Khalid doesn't know it yet, but he's expecting a baby brother or sister. Alhamdulillah. :) We don't know what it is yet, apart from shy. I'm 25 weeks along (that's out of 40 max, and 37 is considered full term, just in case you were wondering) and growing increasingly frustrated by this kid's refusal to give up the secret of his/her gender. Khalid was a boy-flavored jellybean. This one's a Mystery Bean.

People keep insisting that we actually know but are refusing to tell anyone, which is a bizarre accusation considering that when we found out with Khalid, we told the entire world what we were expecting and what his name was, months before he was born. Also, Baby Shop and Mothercare just had National Day sales, and I couldn't buy anything gender specific because I don't know any specific gender! We've gone twice to find out the baby's gender, and the first time he/she wouldn't stop kicking, and the second time he/she was facing the wrong way with legs crossed. If this goes on much longer I'm going to rush out and buy tons of frilly pink things and if Mystery Bean turns out to be a boy, he'll have to wear them anyway because it's his fault for being so difficult.

One woman I know, who says she correctly guessed the genders of all three of her children based on what type of clothes she felt like buying, insisted that if I thought about it hard enough I would know. "All you have to do is feel it," she said, "What does this baby feel like?"

I shifted around a bit and told her it felt like a backache, which is the truest thing I can say. With Khalid, being pregnant was a time of anticipation and excitement. With Mystery Bean, pregnancy is a time of chasing Khalid, taking the inedible/dangerous object out of his mouth and then trying to get back to work before he finds something else to taste/gnaw/take apart and eat.

Also, because I don't know the baby's gender and therefore don't have a name for it, I find myself referring to him/her as... It. Which is weird. I don't feel connected to this child the way I did to Khalid, and I'm really hoping we're able to find the gender out at the next visit so I can pick the backache out a name, an imaginary face, and some frilly pink rompers the next time I go shopping. :p

For variety's sake, we're hoping it's a girl. HF is preemptively referring to this baby as a she, and I keep cautioning him that if he gets his heart set on a girl-bean when we're actually having another little boy, he's going to give Son Number 2 an identity crisis. I mean, it'll be bad enough that he's wearing pink dresses, the least his father can do is refer to him by the right gender, sheesh! :p

Please remember us in your duas, I'm still struggling through the flu and need all the help I can get.

Peace & Chikken Grease!

-Abez & Co.



At 11/12/07 3:05 AM, Blogger Ayesha said...

wow, masha Allah - super good news abez, may Allah keep you and "it" happy and healthy.
The dilemma of pink and blue is a very umreekun thing, almost everyone in pakistan didn't use to care and made dresses in all soft pale colours. Nowadays, alot of baby products are in yellows and greens - get that, they might not torture the boy, if its a boy - On that note, my grandma used to say that if the pregnancy is tiring..its usually a girl.I don't have any scientific backup .

and wait.. do you and baji plan things together ? ;)

At 11/12/07 9:16 AM, Blogger Anjum (barsaat) said...

"felt like a backache" - LOL! nice one. you should have actually said that.

congratulations abez =) and to HF and Khalid in advance too! masha'Allah that is really excellent news =D

At 11/12/07 10:16 AM, Blogger Abez said...

Ayesha- I know, yellow and green are always options, and funnily enough, my parents still have a 'dress' that my elder brother wore in Pakistan because over there, the gender of the baby didn't seem to matter quite so much, lol!

Baji and I didn't plan together, lol, but she is my pregnancy-pal. We exchange whiny/hopeful emails and compare notes every now and then. (mine and whiny, hers are more cheerful) Our Bebes are due within a week of each other, InshaAllah

Anju: I did say that! And she rolled her eyes and thought I was being silly, hehe

At 11/12/07 10:50 AM, Blogger Mona said...

i was reading this post and i could hear you in my head, kind of like you wrote this one go.
hopefully, the bean will will loosen up at your next appointment and you can finally go ahead and buy all those pink frilly things!

At 11/12/07 10:24 PM, Blogger Ayesha said...

abez, I love how you pinpointed 'dress' - every one wears dresses in homeland, male or female.

At 11/12/07 10:37 PM, Blogger baj said...

what?! we DID plan together! i have the excel spreadsheet and power point presentations here as proof.

At 13/12/07 4:02 AM, Blogger DeOwl said...

Imagine you're doing it old fashioned style. They never knew and that was fine. Just call it 'bebe' for now, instead of 'it', and think happy thoughts.

At 14/12/07 9:31 PM, Blogger Saira said...

MashaAllah, and Congratulations!

May your baby be as cute and bring you as much joy as Khalid has!


At 1/7/08 9:33 AM, Anonymous Noshi said...

LOL I love your blog. I've been reading your entries...and mashaAllah you sound like such a great person. Insha'Allah Mystery Beans is great :) thumma ameen..and that sneaky Khalid. MashaAllah. May Allah Ta'ala bless you with happiness for years to come. thumma ameen!


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