AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
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My Husband, who never updates!

Mona, who I don't visit enough

Hemlock, who I don't hug enough

Baji, the orginal robot monkey pirate

Prometheus, who buts brains to blog about Autism

Socrates, a blogger with Asperger's

Jo, a funnier Autism mom with a great blog

Autism Watch-  for logic-based information

ASAT- Assosciation for Science in Autism Treatments

Quack Watch- for current news and info on all sort of medical treatments

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My Cousin- really, he's my cousin.  Wish he would update more.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

A toddler, a Newborn and a Paradigm Shift

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. We’ve been home a week and Iman is healthy, happy, and adorable in the squashy, pink, surprised-looking way that newborns are so good at. Khalid, on the other hand, is having a rough time, as we seem to have brought home fierce competition for his Momma’s attention.

When I change Iman’s diaper, it’s with Khalid trying to push me away from the changing station. When I nurse her, her tries to pull her out of my lap, and when she cries, he puts his hands over his ears and starts crying too. They take turns waking up throughout the day and night- Five minutes into Khalid’s nap, Iman woke up. An hour and a half later, Iman went back to sleep. Half an hour after that, Khalid woke up. So we’ve had a rough week, but we’re learning how to cope.

I am determined not only to cope though, but to succeed. Succeed at what? Ah, now there’s the paradigm shift- a paradigm shift being a radical change of perspective- The standard of a productive, successful day once included a clean house, a freshly-cooked meal, a well maintained toddler and at least two hours of work. But that was the standard for Abez and Khalid. The standard for Abez and Khalid and Iman involves a house, a meal, and two alive children.

Work is not a possibility.
Getting dressed is optional.
Lunch today was peanut butter.

So, according to the new standards, we’re not doing half bad! Look, we’ve even found a little time to write a blog! (Iman is asleep, Khalid is being fed breakfast) We’ve also found time to dig out our box of pre-maternity wardrobe, try things on, and then be both horrified and amazed- (Horrified that we seem to be so very far away from buttoning anything, amazed that we were able to just a few months back.)

But I digress- it’s been a bumpy ride, but we’re moving forward Alhamdulillah.

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At 10/4/08 5:59 PM, Blogger baj said...

we are now entering week 5 of the zp v. ap battle but, i must say, it gets better each day. it certainly helps to have family members/tv/dvd/legos/etc to distract him. today, for example, zp only had one tear when i picked up ap. this is in comparison to the flood of tears two weeks ago and the complete nuclear meltdown four weeks ago. hang in there, sensai!

At 10/4/08 7:01 PM, Blogger Anjum (barsaat) said...

aw, abez.. the paradigm shift was inevitable with the arrival of Iman. but you will succeed and iA soon enough khalid will learn from your actions that your love and attention for him is still secure. you'll remember these days when khalid is playing his role of overprotective older brother to Iman very strongly :)

hang in there, sensai, is right :)

At 11/4/08 4:28 AM, Blogger American Muslima Writer said...

Wow you so put it right when you said the standards have been lowered. Sometimes you don't realize how much more chaos one little baby will throw things into the wrench but things will get better. All advice I got and used well was involved Khalid in everything you do with the baby.
"Oh Khalid are you strong enough to hand me that pack of diapers? can you fetch me the wipes pack? Come lay next to me while I feed Iman and I'll tell you both a story...etc... eventaully he'll realize that she is actaully staying long term and that's ok. I'm blessed (don't throw your mouse at me plz) my daughter took to her brother well from the start and we were sure to pamper her and have her help, both her and the baby. SHe even helped feed him with a bottle which she was very proud of. While breastfeeding she gets a special movie or storytime if i need quiet. Luckily for the first month they sleep more than awake so it's easier. Yes things will get harder...heh.
But hang in there and remeber people did it before us and lived so I guess we can make it too...at least that's what I tell myself often... ;) I'm wishing you well and May Allah watch over your family and bless it with closeness and love.

At 12/4/08 10:14 PM, Anonymous R said...

mabrook x100000000000.
may they both be the light of your lives!

many duas,

At 14/4/08 9:40 AM, Blogger Mona said...

oh, i like the new standards much better.
hang in there, babe. call if you need ANYTHING!

At 14/4/08 10:33 PM, Blogger Owl said...

Haha, you said paradigm!

*points and laughs*

Sorry, that word will ALWAYS be connected to the bossman at The Voice. Remember him? HEEHE!

Sir, you will more than just succeed. You will thrive. Because you are not Pikachu. You are Raichu.

At 19/4/08 5:53 PM, Blogger Abez said...

"...you are not Pikachu. You are Raichu."

My Hamburger, I think you just gave me a new motto. :) >>>hugs<<<


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