AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
Right Brain Left Brain Islam poetry
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My sister, De Owl

My Husband, who never updates!

Mona, who I don't visit enough

Hemlock, who I don't hug enough

Baji, the orginal robot monkey pirate

Prometheus, who buts brains to blog about Autism

Socrates, a blogger with Asperger's

Jo, a funnier Autism mom with a great blog

Autism Watch-  for logic-based information

ASAT- Assosciation for Science in Autism Treatments

Quack Watch- for current news and info on all sort of medical treatments

Expat Women Blog Directory

My Cousin- really, he's my cousin.  Wish he would update more.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

Fa inna ma'al usri yusraa, Inna ma'al usri yusraa

Something amazing has happened almost every day this week, and I need to blog about it before I forget and lose the utter beauty and wonder of it all-

Khalid is talking.

If someone leaves a room, he says Bye-Bye. If he wants food, he opens the fridge and says Eat. When he wants a drink, he announces 'Juice!' until he gets some. He woke Ruth up the other day by poking her and saying "On!" and two days ago, when Khalid wasn't very keen on the beef stir-fry we had for lunch, he turned his head and very clearly said "No!"

All of this progress is just since the May 26th post, The Sweetest ROI. It's almost like Khalid has had his Hellen Keller moment, and now that he understands what words are for, he's using them whenever he can. He knocks on the door and says "Open!"and when someone honked in traffic the other day, Khalid answered with "Beep Beep!"

Yesterday, he walked into the kitchen and loudly called out Sheeeeeeep! He's copying words he hears in WordWorld. And that's not even the best part. Today, Ruth and the kids went one way in the mall while I went to the other to buy groceries. After I had checked out, I pulled my phone out to call Ruth and the kids back, but before I could dial the number, I heard a distant and chirpy little voice call out Mamaa! I turned around incredulously, and there, a few shops down, was Khalid, running gleefully in my direction. He's never called me before. And now, he called out to me and ran into my arms.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

And later today, during the long drive back home, Ruth had been tickling Khalid by saying 'Buzzzzz!' and then poking him in the stomach. We call this electric fingers. Well, this same evening, Khalid walked up to me and poked his fingers into my stomach and shouted Buzz! looking at me with delighted anticipation. It took him two times to get the message across (Buzz, Buzz!!) but onceI got it, we had a hysterical laugh and I let him tickle me.

He tickled me.

And then he ran off to go bounce on his bed, and I IM'ed my sister, called my husband, and danced around the house out of joy. And I'm still walking on air. It's midnight right now, but if I could call anyone else I would. But I can't, so I'm blogging about it instead because I want to remember this forever and share it with everyone within earshot. Khalid tickled me!!!

Six months ago, Khalid was non-verbal, aversive to being cuddled, almost impossible to interact with, threw tantrums constantly and was physically aggressive to the point that I used to keep him at arm's length- literally. If Khalid ran up to me then, it was because he was going to scratch or pinch or hit me, so before he got there, I redirected him and moved away. He kicked doors and cabinets and banged his head against walls and mirrors and the floor. He would cry so hard he'd get a nose bleed, wake up in the night screaming, and was so in his own world that it was hard to believe he wasn't deaf. That, in case I've never spelled it out before, is the tip of the autism iceberg.

It may be false hope, or euphoria from the electric fingers talking, but this is the first time that I have an image in my mind of Khalid's future as a normal, independent, young man- going to school, getting a degree, having friends, holding a job, getting married... Compare this to the image I've been trying to block out for months- Khalid needing constant care, feeding, diapering- even into adulthood. And I don't want to talk about how it feels, as a parent, to wonder what will happen to your special needs child after you die. The world is a cruel place. They're only special to you. To everyone else, they're just freaks, and it's easier to forget about them than to care for them.

But that's depressing, and right now, I want to luxuriate in this wonder and absolute joy. And while I can't say I've reached a point where I'm happy that Khalid has autism, I am definitely at a point where I understand that if Khalid never had autism, then I would never know this kind of happiness. I would never have had to develop such patience, or experience how rewarding it is to see progress in a labor of love.

Fa inna ma'al usri yusraa
Inna ma'al usri yusraa.

Therefore, after hardship will always come ease.
Verily, after hardship will always come ease.

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At 20/6/09 2:17 AM, Blogger baji said...

*hugs to the amazing momma and super duper electric fingers khalid*

At 20/6/09 8:46 AM, Blogger Anjum (barsaat) said...

masha'ALlah, masha'Allah! that is SOOOO Good to read!! major hugs to you both.

At 22/6/09 2:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm really happy for you! mashaallah tabarakallah :-)

At 22/6/09 8:33 AM, Anonymous Saeed said...


At 22/6/09 2:53 PM, Blogger mahwish said...

May you have many more such moments. Ameen!

At 22/6/09 8:14 PM, Anonymous Marzia said...

Mashallah.... I am very very happy for you. I have a 9 months old daughter. Ever since I read about Khalid, I started reading about Autism and from your blog I am getting first hand experience how the progress happens. You won't believe how happy I am feeling for you and Khalid. May Allah give and your family all the happiness in the world. Ameen

At 24/6/09 8:57 AM, Blogger Saira said...


May Allah bless you and Khalid and your family, and may He continue to bestow on you such happiness and joy.

Very wise words at the end of that post, mashaAllah - you've been blessed with a great understanding, and may Allah reward you for your patience.

At 25/6/09 8:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mashallah-may Allah make all your and Khalid's dreams come true (Ameen)

At 29/6/09 3:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

بارك الله لكم

At 29/6/09 3:19 PM, Anonymous Junaid said...

Mashallah , i need to come meet you guys up soon!!



At 29/6/09 10:18 PM, Anonymous Aaliya said...

Mash'Allah, that is just soo awesome! The first time one of your kids calls u mama is just priceless. m so happy abt the progress ur seeing :-)

2 reply to ur earlier comment: I used to live in California b4 I moved to Pk. the hubby n I went to pk to get married, as was my granny's wish, n we ended up settling there 4 a few years. Now we're back in Cali 2 stay :-) Ive had a busy life n my twins arent making it any easier for me :P ok enuff abt me im taking over ur comments box now lol.

At 30/6/09 8:36 PM, Anonymous bushra said...

congratulations! i hope you see many, many more milestones to come...

one q... when did you start to feel that Khalid was not reacting/developing for his age? i have a 5 month old and i was just wondering whether there are any signs or alerts.

At 8/7/09 6:14 PM, Blogger hemlock said...

next time you want to call someone in the middle of the night, remember me :) my cell is always on. always.

At 13/7/09 9:46 PM, Blogger Socrates said...

"The world is a cruel place. They're only special to you. To everyone else, they're just freaks, and it's easier to forget about them than to care for them."

I promise you Abez, he is special to us. And we do care. And that's why we battle those who don't care, and those that would deny him his humanity.

At 1/1/10 1:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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