AbezAbez Is... 50% White, 50 % Pakistani, Muslim Hijab-wearing type female, Daughter of Momma, Sister of Owlie Wife of HF, Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with Autism, and Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair, Writer, Graphic Designer, Editor, Freelancer, Blogger, Inhaler of Chocolate
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

This is why God made babies cute

Last night was another interesting night, rather than nurse Khalid to sleep I tried the 'crying it out in arms' approach, which basically involved him screaming his little self tired- in my arms. Someone posted a link to this in the comments of one of the crying it out posts, and I'm not sure who it was, but they should also have posted a link to body building and developing muscle for high-stress baby-rocking. :p Khalid is, MashaAllah, over the 95% percentile for his weight and height, which means me bouncing almost 12 kilos (26 pounds) of angry, screaming, WWF-Wrestling baby in my arms for 20 minutes before he winds down and falls whining to sleep.

Alhamdulillah, he slept, and last night wasn't too bad, although there were no long sleep stretches over an hour and a half. I think by now I'm so frazzled by the every-forty-minutes schedule that an hour and a half seems good. The other night I put Khalid to sleep and even though I was exhausted, I wandered in to the kitchen and got on to the laptop to do some work. Why not? I thought, he's just going to wake up in forty minutes, why bother going to sleep?

But going back to the title of this post- Last night, about fifteen minutes into rocking and screaming and wrestling- my arms were burning (you know burning? it's five minutes past aching and two minutes before dying) and my back was aching and I was getting frustrated and suddenly Khalid stops crying, looks up at me and says, "bap bap bap?" Then he smiles at me and launches into a few minutes of impossibly cute baby-babble, "pibpibpib, bap bap bap, nanagagagaGAK!" He lays relaxed in my arms, just making cute little sounds and smiling at me, and manages to undo all of the anger and frustration that had been piling up onto my shoulders just minutes ago.

SubhanAllah. Standing there in the dark, at 1:30 am, with aching body, aching feet, and 12 kilos of sleep-resistant babyfat in my arms- I laughed out loud. I kissed his soft little cheeks. I remembered that bed time is an ordeal for him too, and he's not deliberately being difficult, he's just being what he is- a baby.

We went to the pediatrician last week for his cough, and HF asked the doctor about Khalid's atrocious sleep habits- waking every forty minutes, not sleeping at night, etc. The doctor patiently listened and then shrugged apologetically. "That's normal, all children are like this." We asked her if she was sure. She was. And she had her own kids too.

SubhanAllah, I sometimes forget how much I am blessed. Allah has blessed me with a beautiful, beautiful child, free from disabilities or conditions or any visible defects- ten perfectly chubby, perfectly formed fingers, same number of wiggly little toes, enormous gorgeous eyes, the sweetest, softest cheeks- Khalid is a perfect baby, and it's my fault for forgetting- he's a perfect baby. He's sitting in his high-chair right now, banging a clothes pin against a set of teething keys and periodically chewing on a baby biscuit that he's also managed to rub into his eyebrows. He's a baby.

My beautiful little son. :) It was time for his nap about an hour ago now, and he managed to sleep for ten minutes before waking up again with a happy -bapbapbap- He's starting to rub his eyes and pull his ears (which also have cookie crumbs on them) so I guess it's time for me to try to put him to sleep again. Please remember us in your duas- I need patience and he needs an off button. :p

Peace & Chikken Grease
Abez & Bebeface



At 21/2/07 4:49 PM, Blogger baj said...

alhumdulillah for all of Allah's graces upon us, wee and HUGE! as i keep reminding myself, this time is so short. surely we can get through this. he won't be a baby forever. SOME day, you'll get to sleep for more than a few hours at a stretch. SOME day, you'll get to wear cookie-free clothes. SOME day, your back will not ache, your feet will not ache, but your heart may ache b/c he's not a baby anymore. enjoy it while it lasts. :) and give him a huge smootch from me.

At 21/2/07 5:16 PM, Anonymous aoife said...

The last time I checked, sleeping like that is NOT normal. After the first couple of months, infants should be able to longer stretches of sleep, something like 4-5 hours. Your baby needs longer stretches of sleep as well.

After a month of sleeping like you are, I had waking dreams and mild hallucinations. I don't know how you are still doing it months and months later. Masha'allah.

And masha'allah that he is healthy... but if that sleep was normal, there would be a lot less mothers in the world.

At 21/2/07 9:30 PM, Anonymous taubah said...

No I think that sleep is normal. Most babies do that for a long period of time. You just got to get them out of it.

I'm so happy that your baby is perfect smile. Some times we really do forget. Alhamdulillah, my three year old Zahra is truly leaving baby-hood!!! tear tear. It was funny today when it was 'potty time' I put her on the potty and she didn't want to be there. So she said to me, as if she was my mother " mommy, I want to get up,,, now. Ok mommy 1....2....3...4... Ok mommy go to time out," I started laughing so hard cause she didn't say it in a mean way or anything just in a stern way like I would say it. I said sweetie, that's what mommy says to you when you are being bad. YOu don't say that to mommy. She just looked at me like... 'hey that's not fare'

They truly do grow up toooo fast


At 22/2/07 11:08 AM, Anonymous hemlock said...

if bebeface was gum, id be chomping on him right now :D
he's THAT edible, mashallah.

dude, honestly, being a momma is hard. and it doesnt get easier. if they are not babies, they are toddlers falling of trees and bicycles and falling on their knees and scraping them... it doesnt get any easier. :)

i envy you for your strength and patience and devotion. cuz ive seen you live in action.
it's all good if and when i can choose to play with bebeface... but to be doing all of that on a daily basis... i dont think im cut out for that... but yer mashallah doing a darn good job of it... kudos to you.

At 24/2/07 10:13 AM, Blogger Mona said...

you got the du'as. and alhamdolillah, because, Khalid is indeed a beautiful and perfect baby, mA!

At 24/2/07 6:45 PM, Blogger Carol said...

Any improvement?

At 26/2/07 8:51 AM, Anonymous Parent said...

Unnhhh Listen your child needs you. If your boy sleeps next to you it's no big deal.

Look on the bright side no adults sleep with thier parent do they?

Hold him hug him and sleep close to him let him know that when he wakes up he will be safe cause he will be between the two people that love him the most.

The world is bad enough as it is let the baby be a baby. Let him enjoy the few years that he will have not knowing what the world is really about.

By keeping him close he will sleep better, when he wakes up you can nurse him back to sleep.

We have been through it, just hang in there and pray. But don't ask him to grow up now; he will eventually.

At 27/2/07 12:34 AM, Anonymous Jaycie said...

Well.. I have also been reading your blog never commmenting. I came to your blog through Chai and Apple Pie. So I'm also white married to pakitani like her. Anyway I have a two yr old and I had some sleep issues with her. I really liked Dr. Jodi Mindell's advice. I could not do the cry it out. That was just too hard for me.. and the times that I did try it.. never worked. Here's a link with more info. HTH and you get some sleep soon. http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/5981.xml&catref=prt30


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